Deal-a-Meal Warning Screen

(1988-Early 1990s)

Nickname: The Gun, "Dragnet Gun"

Warning: We see a hand holding a gun, the barrel facing us. The hand turns the cylinder and fires it. The words "FBI WARNING", in a thick red font with white shadows, zoom out, and the following text fades in, all in white:

ANY COMMERCIAL USE OR DUPLICATION OF THIS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL WITHOUT PRIOR LICENSING IS FORBIDDEN BY FEDERAL LAW: VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED © (1988) DEAL-A-MEAL CORP.

The gun is fired again, as we go black.

FX/SFX: The zooming text, which is animated very well. Other than that, it's all live-action.

Music/Sounds: Begins with a drumroll, then part of the Dragnet theme, a gunshot, more of the theme, and another gunshot accompanied by the sound of a body falling to the ground.

Availability: Rare. It first appeared on the instructional video that came with the Deal-a-Meal program. Don't expect to find it on Richard Simmons' "Deal Your Way to Health" (the video that came with the more-common 1991 version of it), however, as it is replaced by the third warning. It later appeared on a Goodtimes VHS reprint of Richard Simmons' Sweatin' to the Oldies.

Scare Factor: Medium to high for people who aren't expecting it, obviously due to the unsuitable subject matter, but this is one of the more creative warning screens out there!

(1989)

Nickname: "The Trial", "Did You or Did You Not Copy Sweatin' to the Oldies 2?", "The Ignored Excuse" , "That Warning Screen from Sweatin' to the Oldies 2", "FBI Court"

Warning: We see a black screen momentarily and then hear a judge banging his gavel and yelling "ORDER IN THE COURT! ORDER IN THE COURT!!!" in a rather unconvincing manner. Then the screen lightens up and we see a black-and-white courtroom scene, possibly taken from an old movie. The judge continues talking. He says to the guilty man in this scene, "Answer the question, did you or did you not copy Sweatin' to the Oldies 2?" ("Then again, why would anyone want to?!"). We see an old woman shaking and gritting her teeth. The judge says "Well?", and the man says, "I did." in a sorrow manner. Everyone gasps and the woman screams. The judge says to two policemen, "Take him away, boys.". After the guilty man is taken away, a newspaper spins up to us briefly and it reads:

The Times (in a CloisterBlack styled font) _________________________________ FBI WARNING!!! ANY COMMERCIAL USE OR DUPLICATION OF THIS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL WITHOUT PRIOR LICENSING IS FORBIDDEN BY FEDERAL LAW. VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED!!! COPYRIGHT (1989) DEAL-A-MEAL CORP.

The judge then says "Don't even think about copyin' THIS videotape." and a jail slam sound is heard, as we go black.

FX/SFX: Mostly live-action.

Music/Sounds: Dramatic music is heard over the voices. A low, brief whoosh is heard when the newspaper spins up to us, followed by loud police sirens.

Availability: Rare. Only found on Sweatin' to the Oldies 2.

Scare Factor: Low to high, because of the gavel sounds and unsuitable subject matter, of course. But this is just as creative as the first warning, possibly even more so! It's probably one of the best FBI warning screens ever made on this very Earth.

(1989-1991)

Warning: Same as the Lorimar Home Video warning screen, except the copyright notice simply says "Copyright (year)" and the red border is removed.

FX/SFX: None.

Music/Sounds: None.

Availability: Seen on some Deal-A-Meal releases.

Scare Factor: Minimal.

(1991-1994)

Warning: On a blue background, we see "FBI WARNING:", and the standard warning text under it, all in italics.

FX/SFX: None.

Cheesy Factor: Wow......just.....WOW. Compared to the previous two warnings, this seems like a very, VERY lazy effort.

Music/Sounds: None.

Availability: Rare. Found on Sweatin' to the Oldies 3, The Marky Mark Workout and Richard Simmons' "Ideal Your Way to Health".

Scare Factor: None. It's just boring.

(1992)

Warning: TBA

FX/SFX: It's all live action.

Music/Sounds: TBA.

Availability: Seen on Sweatin' to the Oldies 4 and Sweat & Shout.

Scare Factor: None. It's a funny warning, and a major improvement over the previous warning.

(1994)

Warning: TBA.

FX/SFX: TBA.

Music/Sounds: Siren wails with a V/O.

Availability: Seen on Richard Simmons: Disco Sweat.

Scare Factor: Same as the 4th warning.

(1996)